The Truth Be Told

I guess it's time to come clean and provide a bit more detail about the latest bone marrow tests and chemo. A couple of minor things first. I'm doing OK now. Still have an uphill fight, but still fighting. Second, a couple of comments disappeared from my last posting. To the bloggers who put those comments there, please understand I didn't erase them. I have no idea what happened but one day they weren't there. Cyber ghosts.

Now for my coming clean. My last bone marrow biopsy was March 31. Next one will probably be in a couple of weeks. The last one was more troubling than any previous ones. Per Rifkin, my disease is raging mad, worse than its ever been. I did not expect the news would be good, but it was worse than I could have imagined. Below are a few of the findings from the bone marrow report.

--Plasma cells 93% (normal is 5% or less). These are the cancerous cells. Many atypical forms present. My plasma cells were at 90% a couple of times previously. Before the transplant in Little Rock and before the transplant in Houston.

--Some background: Healthy people have 46 chromosomes (for males that consists of 22 pairs and an x and a y chromosome). When I first went to Arkansas I had 46 normal chromosomes, which was an improvement from when I was first diagnosed where I had a couple of chromosomal abnormalities. The improvement was thought to be the result of the velcade treatment.

--I now have 52 chromosomes; the extras being clones. Now that's a scarey thought. Me cloning myself. So I said to myself, "self, what's with these extra chromosomes...?" Now seriously, having more chromosomes than 46 is better than having less. I haven't figured out why, but then more is usually better than less in most things in life. These multiple chromosomal abnormalities often appear in the more advanced later stages of myeloma. Not good.

--My M spike (the level of M protein) in my blood is 2.8 (normal being 0). It has been much worse (4.4), but Rifkin attributes the lower level to the myeloma not being as productive in producing M protein, which only means the M spike and IGGs aren't going to be that good in projecting the stage of my disease.

--M spike has now appeared in the urine. Not good. This hasn't been found before and is another sign of the advanced stage of the disease.

Rifkin spoke with a number of his colleagues around the country, including my doc at MDAnderson and the consensus seemed to be the high dose cytoxin--maximum 2 treatments. Because of my languishing white count I was hospitalized for both of the cytoxin treatments. I handled those quite well, as I have most of my high dose chemo. That being said, I'm not optimistic about the cytoxin bringing the myeloma down to any significant degree. This is an alkaline based drug, as have been all of my high dose chemo treatments (5 thus far, including the 3 that preceded each of the 3 transplants). My body has not responded to any of these treatments. Despite my repeated objection to such treatments, following the failure of my first transplant, each doctor has had an explanation why this time it would work. Wrong. My doc at MDA told me candidly they have no other drugs that will wipe out the cells as effectively and let the body start over--even if the drugs don't wipe out the cancer cells. So they filled me with cytoxin. Bone marrow in 2 weeks or so will tell the tale.

Now, with all that I'm not hang dogging it. It has been difficult for my family, mother, brothers, sister, brother in law and those close friends who know the full story. But you know me, ever the optimist, the problem solver, the enjoy each day kind of guy. So, while we're preparing for the worst I'm working on solving this problem myself. I'll do most of what my doctor says, but being a problem solver, I've decided I need to figure this out for me. So I've delved into the details, so to speak. You naturopaths will appreciate this and any suggestions you have will be appreciated.

I am on a daily routine of carrot, beet and apple juice. Curcumin. Triple Omega (flaxseed, omega 3,6,and 9, and olive oil). Pro biotics. Vitamin D, B-6, and B-12. Some of these I've been on for awhile. I have always had good results with steroids and am on 50 mg every other day. The steroids boost the chemo and I figure they could boost the effects of these natural vitamins, antioxidants and the like. Curcumin has been discussed in a number of myeloma blogs over the years and more recently has shown not only an ability to increase the effects of antibiotics, but also the death of cancer cells.

And now let's wind up this long post. I understand a few things. First, we never know what is going to happen. The doctors don't know. I don't know. No one knows. So there is no need to fast forward to an unknown outcome. Things will happen as they are supposed to. I firmly believe at any moment in life everything is as it should be. If it doesn't feel right it is only because of my perceptual limitations. I am at peace with whatever happens. Second, having recovered from the high dose chemo, I don't feel much different than before we got the news from Rifkin. My main problem is fatigue. I'm waiting for the weather to settle in to nice spring/summer weather so I can ride my bike, take walks, go on picnics with Susan, and continue to enjoy life. And finally, I don't have the words to express the depth of the gratitude I feel for each and every one of you in my life. I love you.

Dan